You know you're a CB when...

(The list formerly known as:You know you're too into J&B blogger when...)

• you wait two hours to post saying blogger broke down
• you know who the egg is and what Carolina state his barrier island is off of
• you ask lurkers to come out of hiding
• you have two mascots and one of them drinks large quantities of alcohol
• you know what name Jen-T started with
• you have suggestions for eye patches
• you've gotten on and off a soap box
• you try to reach 300 comments before they post
• Bob's silences get the most responses
• you've babbled when you met the Cherry
• you know all the nasty things that have been done to LeFavre and you plan to do more
• you've been told to be nicer and for awhile you actually listened
• Tal has caught a grammar/spelling error you made
• you give (((Hugs)))
• you say "virgin blog" still
• you know who not to get in a car with, unless you like to be arrested/fondled by men in uniform
• you have never stayed on one topic in a post and you don't plan to
• you throw parties when B&J are goneand the hotel you throw them in has burned down
• you have written part of the hotel caper for them
• you've complimented people on their collaging
• you're still waiting for the SF guys to deliver your books
• you have a shovel and you're willing to use it.
• you've also started to think of decorations for it.
• you are flattered when somone asked you to man the moot signal
• when telling someone else about something that happened on here, you spend thirty minutes telling the backstory and only one telling the line.
• you know what CC's plans are for the hole in her wall
• and you also know the plans not involving OH
• you say *ribbit ribbit* as a scare tatic
• you watch the weather station for B&J
• you know about twenty different ways to keep small mammals away from your gardens
• you believe squirrels communicate
• you make plans to steal from B&J, but can't decide on who should do the distracting
• you have fights about who's a hotter hero
• when you get excited about a book it's seen as normal behavior
• you can name at least three pets and you know who has the horny son
• LMAO is both a usual response and a wanted one
• you can name at least ten different kinds of chocolate
• you can say "bless your heart" and be forgiven...most of the time
• you remember the Princess debate and you remeber who admitted to owning a "princess" shirt
• you know what muppet you are
• you know how fast G-G can run
• you say IMHO like you mean the word humble
• you weighed in on the Scotland vs DC debate, and your main argument was men in kilts
• you've seen a kitten holding a gun
• you wonder what happened to Bubbles
• you know the conspiracy around the 100-post mark
• you write your verification as your name, and people still recognize you
• you have debates about if a book has too much HEA
• you argue about good sex scenes
• you have threatened OH at least once
• you plan blackmail to keep the blog going past December
• you remember who kept trying to get the last post and what she threw you in
• you believe people in water have a purpose. that purpose is target practice
• you feel guilty when you don't do a verification
• you miss people when they go on vacation and aren't able to blog
• you know blogger is plotting against you
• being called "normal" is an insult
• you create fictional conversations between J&B. ...and they sound real
• you know not to mention the "Forbidden Book of Crusie Past", but you do it anyways.
• you regularly have 'conversations' with people in 4 different countries, not including your own
• people you have never met know what time you get off work and how long it takes you to get home and eat supper
• you can quote Latin declensions
• you have trouble finding Canada on a map
• you know more about CC's remodeling efforts than her family does
• you know what Vandermint is
• you know what a flip flog is and how to lamb blast someone
• you take an oath by crossing your heart with your pinkie and swearing to Bob
• you discuss books and authors using only initials
• an alligator in a Krispy Kreme bag makes perfect sense
• you have intense discussions about characters and scenes in a book that isn't finished yet let alone published
• you can name approx. 30 people other than your mother who think you are perfect
• you know where the 'tree on his head' joke comes from.
• you know when people talk about GAMs they aren't referring to legs
• you've lusted after moot points
• you've pictured paranormal cowboys and BCB together
• you have to squelch random urges to proclaim, "In the darkness, there is death…"
• you know how to take one for the team
• you complain about having to write sex scenes while other people encourage you to try anyway
• you tell others gory details of your life knowing they don't even know your name
• you rant about all kind of bad things from Tom Cruise to the Da Vinci code
• you have Bryan's cell number but you still want to now what he looks like
• you write passages that take half an hour to read but save time by calling your husband 'DH'
• you need three verification codes until you have figured out a good sentence for the first one
• you treat moles with great respect
• you know how to get sharpened daggars
• you can talk about taking over the world with a straight face
• you miss people you've never met and worry about them when they don't post!
• you practice "snark" regularly
• you've learned a lot of words beginning with X and Z in the last 7 months
• people understand when you leave out whole words, thoughts and even the general idea of the post
• it only takes one post from GAM or Jenny to make you a virgin again
• you wear an eye patch to fit in and be considered cool
• you write about LaFavre and Pepper, even when the Gam said not too
• you know more about the planet jupitor than you ever thought you would
• you share great cake recipies
• you've successfully traveld back in time and enjoyed it in an odd way
• the most frustrating thing about your computer going down is that you can't check the blog for the sixth (eighth, tenth) time that day to see what everyone's saying!
• you know Jaws inhabits a lake in upstate NY and has it in for a certain CB
• you mis-spell a word in a document and, rather than correct it, think up a verification sentence for it
• you can no longer remember what you used to do with all the time you now spend reading and commenting on the blog
• and you no longer care
• you think getting fired wouldn't be so bad if you could just find a way to get paid for reading and commenting on the blog -- but you're sure you'll come up with something. Later. After you're done catching up on all the comments
• you feel inexplicably panicked at the thought of a weather-related power outage lasting for days that results in loss of internet access -- never mind about the food in the fridge
• you sit impatiently at your computer, waiting for people you have never met and who live half a continent away or halfway around the world to wake up, get home from work, have that first cup of coffee, finish dinner, finish writing that chapter, get back from boot camp, finish feeding the horses... and come out and play
• you know with a great deal of certainty that somewhere on a barrier island a man is reading these comments and firing off an email to a woman who is sitting in her newly cleaned office:

"What the hell are they talking about?"

"I have no idea."

And that makes you smile

• OH has described you as a growly bear wearing a green dress AND as a sack of swine -- and you just laugh and feel absurdly complimented
• you take a "blog break" at work when no one is watching and as a result feel like you can almost make it through the next three hours without commiting a felony
• you wonder whether, if YOUR mother logged on and read the comments, she would ever speak to you again
• you will never again see a cruise boat without laughing hysterically
• you get used to the concept of laughing and crying pretty much at the same time
• you know LaFavre's first name but can't spell his last one
• you associate coleslaw with death
• your frying pan and long-handled kitchen fork are registered with the police as deadly weapons
• you know what Spike and Dru were originally called (by Jenny and tal)
• you've met Moot in person
• you've actually heard Bob speak actual words
• cats run and hide when they see you coming
• you can speak Ionian like a native
• you've received TMI about a certain vibrating bed
• you've been issued a map of Tierra del Fuego with a battle plan
• you think it's normal to go from Minnesota to Canada by way of Arizona
• you wear fruit on and about your person for purposes of identification
• you know who the ChippenMoles are
• you know who Mother, Speen, and Needles are, and why they are to be feared
• you know the origin of Talpianna's name
• you know where OH is going to college
• you know where Christina spent her summer and why
• you can list at least 2 injuries that Jen-T's daughter has sustained and which sport she was playing when she got them
• you know what OH's grandmother did to the cop and how many it took to take her down
• you know what RG, OH, CG, GG, CC, MCB, BCB, and SDCB all stand for
• you know what the Ag in AgTigress means
• you know how many sons and grandsons Louis has...and what they do for work
• you dream that you chaufeer JenT's kids to hockey games
• you giggle your way through A History of Violence
• you get your face painted with a bomb denotating a cherry
• you feel the urge to travel the world in a biplane
• the sight of a froggy housecoat sends you into hysterics
• you know the plural of penis and aren't afraid to use it
• you get tons of emails if your mother doesn't log on once a day : )
• you feel safe enough to post your phone number on the Internet...don't mind when 30 giggling women call that number
• travel five hours out of your way to meet someone you've never met
• one eye has more literary value than two
• the Egg came first, no need for a chicken
• you have your daughter spend two hours reading the comments so you won't be left behind
• you post at 1:30 a.m. so that everyone will know you are still here and you so don't want to miss anything
• you spend ages correcting typos so that talpianna won't find grammatical mistakes and correct you
• your DH gets GAM status because we know what that means
• you know if someone is wearing a tree on their head, they're travelling icognito
• when something is written in ALL CAPS someone is really, really serious
• You know you're a CB if you ruthlessly change the subject mid-conversation without a twinge of guilt. /;+)
• you log into the blog as soon as you wake up so you can start your day ROTFL.
• and your children are used to it so they don't even turn to look at you.

AND

• you say "Blogger's back" !!! (You know you're a Cherrybomb when you understand why that's a big deal....)